Degrees of Friendship
As is probably true in your own culture, it takes time for friendship-a close relationship-to develop between Americans. Nevertheless, most Americans are very “friendly” and appear to be very open when you meet them. You may hear Americans refer to acquaintances, such as persons who happen to sit together in class, as “friends.” There are, however, degrees of friendship.
In the United States, people often say, “Hi, How are you?” or “How are you doing?” and then do not wait for a response. This is a polite phrase, not really a question. You can respond by saying, “Fine, thanks.” Or you may hear an American say, “Drop by anytime” or “Let’s get together soon.” These are friendly expressions, but they may not be meant literally. It is polite to call someone on the telephone before you visit. Even without an invitation, it is acceptable to call a new acquaintance to see if he or she would like to go to a campus activity with you.
You will have to make an effort to meet people so that friendships can develop. Because crossing borders to study is a unique and powerful experience, you may find, at least initially, that you have more in common with other foreign students than with Americans, and some of your strongest friendships will be made with other foreigners.
Soon you will meet Americans who have studied abroad-and who therefore know something of what you are experiencing-as well as individuals who share your interests, academic and otherwise.
Many students believe that there is no better place to make friends than the college dormitory. There may be 30 students living on your floor with different accents, different musical tastes, and possibly 30 different standards of acceptable behavior. Be prepared for very open discussions. Participate in dormitory life and become involved in dormitory activities and functions.
Relationships with roommates work best when the dual arts of flexibility and compromise are practiced. Your roommate may or may not become a friend, but there is no reason you should not develop a good relationship. If necessary, the university will offer guidance and advice to help you.
[Social life][Participating in campus life]
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