Mistakes Made & Lessons Learned June 29, 2005
Posted by atharkhan in : Humor, Personal , trackbackI make the mistakes so you don’t have to. Here is a summary of all that I learned this week:
- Those Red Octagons at intersections are not simply recommendations. They mean that you actually HAVE to stop.
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Fire is hot and it can burn you.
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In addition to being an MCI Calling Plan, “Friends and Family” is also a recipe for happiness and fulfillment.
- It might be better to simply ask “Do you have a boyfriend?” rather than saying “If I ask you out, will someone kick my ass?”
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Following that up with “Your boyfriend? You don’t think I could take him huh?” is even more idiotic.
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But, if she laughs and says “you’re insane,” you may be closer to getting that phone number than you think.
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Even though DeBeers might have brainwashed us into thinking otherwise, it is Family that is Forever.
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It is not smart to step on hot sauce packets to see what sound they make when they explode.
- Even though elevator rides are brief, its best not to share them with someone suffering from Halitosis who likes to say a lot of words that start with an “H” sound. (Maybe that’s why Halitosis is an H word?)
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If someone’s personal hygiene is lacking and you want to suggest that they should shower every now and then, do NOT say “You might not believe this but the combination of soap and water is not explosive” under your breath. There is a chance they could hear you.
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When you can hear it, its “Thinking.” When others can hear it, its “Talking.”
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The best way to end a 20 questions marathon with an 8 year old is to let them win about 10 times in a row.
- Even though it is funny as hell, when someone asks for your place of birth, they are talking about your country of origin, not any part of the female anatomy.
- When you are compulsive about rounding up every list to a nice number like 5, 10, 12 or 15, you look like an idiot.
- See what I mean?
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